waterlilybarb

Well then, it's good you're not the one having a baby.   

Honestly, if I was going to have had children I would have done it in my 20s.  I have more patience now, but if I had been healthy I would have had more energy then.  Plus I was always very good with kids and was pretty patient even was I was a teen and did a lot of baby-sitting.  

I have friends that are older than me - some are in their 40s - and they have small kids now.  They're healthy and love their children, but they are so tired trying to keep up with them.  I wouldn't choose that.  However, if I married and got pregnant by accident (it happens), I would be excited and love the child.  It's one of the reasons I've chosen to stay single.  

I really don't want to have children at this point in my life.  By the time my Mum was my age, I was already out of the house.

themegababe

  Me neither Bala.  At least, not right now.  Part of me wants a cute little baby to cuddle with and love on. Then I remember midnight feedings and diaper changes and lots of crying... and remember why we don't want one yet! haha

waterlilybarb

You're smart Meg.  I think it's wise to have some time just as a married couple, if you can.  It helps you to really appreciate one another and have an identity other than Mom & Dad.  

I know my one friend who's in her 20s and married waited three years before they had their little boy.  He's almost 2 now and they're planning their 2nd one.  They only want 2 but they would like them near enough in age to be playmates.  Plus they really wanted to enjoy him being a baby & toddler before having another one.  Both come from large families, so I think they really like the idea of their children having siblings...but because things cost so much now, they really aren't planning more than 2.

bala

it would nice one of each gender through

waterlilybarb

It would be, but not getting to choose, I think most parents are happy with whatever they get.

bala

in the future you can?

waterlilybarb

That could prove to be a problem.  In many cultures, boys are preferred.  What happens when there are too many males.  Who do those parents think their sons are going to marry.  I think that's a dangerous move - though I know it's on the horizon.  I suppose that's better than people aborting girl babies because they want a son.

I have a friend from China who is an only child, and her Grandmother, on the father's side, hated her.  It wasn't that the child had done anything wrong, but she didn't like that the family name might not be carried on.  Though, from what she explained to me, if 2 only children marry they can have 2 children, if they want, and give one the girl's surname - so her father's family name will carry on.

bala

Not everyone is like that, that's just one Race of people.

Majority people would like one of each

waterlilybarb

It's not just Chinese people.  I was just giving an example.  There are plenty of people from every background who would prefer to have a son - some because they know life is harder for girls in their country, others because they think it makes them big men to sire a son.  Others are just picky.  I think it's too bad, because both sons and daughters are wonderful blessings, and should be viewed as such.

bala

Ok, well technology is few years off until it become a reality

i'm amazed how we get onto just interesting discussion

waterlilybarb

True.  That's what's neat about this thread.  The topic is always changing.

shinny

In China there is a ban for having more than one child. If a family has more than one child, they have to pay a "social compensation fee".

The ban has been temporary lifted since the earthquake due to the number of children who died.

gabsimom

I say let these cultures who do not value girls have the technology then when there are few women to go around who do you think will be in charge.

bala

oh great that's what we need woman thinking there god

waterlilybarb

Yes, but my friend is from China.  She has only been in Canada for a couple years and was explaining the system to me.  She told me it is different for many country people - so apparently she was correct.  She also said it was more likely that if a city woman wanted to make sure she could use her father's name for a child it was more likely to be acceptable to a man from the country - especially one who had brothers.

Quote:

It is not an all-encompassing rule because it has always been restricted to ethnic Han Chinese living in urban areas. Citizens living in rural areas and minorities living in China are not subject to the law.
SOURCE

shinny

It makes sense really as most cities are where the population is at it's densest.

themegababe

Very interesting, I didn't know the rural areas had different rules, but it does make sense.  But when there become too many men, there will be no women left to make babies and populate the country.  I think that was said before, but yeah.  I am totally against choosing your childs sex or whatever, I mean.  Children have been born for thousands of years just by chance, why change things now?  I don't think it's our job to mess with natural birth and conception and change God's plan.  Hope this doesn't offend anyone, but that' s my view.  In the States you have to take a test to find out if your child has downs syndrome or another disorder while you are pregnant.  This is so you can have the option of getting rid of the child, or I guess it could be to prepare yourself for the child.  I know that personally I would not be able to get rid of the child just because it has a disease.  Well that just brings up the abortion issue and I don't think we want to get into that here.  So all I have to say is- kids are great and I will be happy with whatever child I get, either boy or girl, and I would love for them to be healthy, but I will take whatever I'm given.  Whew that was a lot to say.

bala

Wow that one hell of a great comment but since you bought it up , In the States you have to take a test to find out if your child has downs syndrome or another disorder while you are pregnant.  This is so you can have the option of getting rid of the child, or I guess it could be to prepare yourself for the child. i don't know if people think this acceptable than surely the next step would be to choose gender?. that's one step closer so surely using your own argument they shouldn't use this since having a kid should down chance whether kid has disease should also be down to chance also?. see where i'm going with this?.

However the diffrence you are not messing with the outcome but it does change your decision knowing this i would assume.

[ Last edited by bala at 6-10-2008 19:05 ]

waterlilybarb

I don't think it would change most people's decision.  People get the test with an idea in mind as to what they would do depending on the outcome.  That's not to say everyone's decision are set in stone.  I have friends who found out their daughter was going to be severely handicapped, while the mother was pregnant.  The doctors tried to pressure them to abort.  I do not agree with that.  They have a beautiful child - she is blind, but has adapted to her other handicaps much better than the doctors predicted.  It's a personal decision, but I really don't think that doctors should try to impose their moral values on anyone.

bala

Wow we get into serious discussion here, as you pointed out depend on the person