gypsiegirl66

I knew with both my girls, and I found it to be wonderful. I don't think my feelings  or how I treated my unborn child, would have been any different had they been boys. I was happy to have two girls, two boys, or a boy and a girl. I never had sisters, and my brothers are much older then I am. So it was excellent. no matter what I had, as long as they were healthy (and they were). I couldn't imagine their births being less thrilling, or surprising, if I hadn't known.

themegababe

For some reason I really don't want to know.  I am not sure why, but I don't.  The baby frenzy is crazy over here in California.  I know people who frame pictures of their ultrasounds (Cuz they have 3d ones now) and have people write notes to the baby on it.  My friends think I'm crazy for getting so weirded out by it, but I am! haha  I also don't want to have the exact name for my kid, maybe that's why I don't want to know.  Like I know it would be such and such for a boy or something else for a girl. But yeah, I don't know.  And here, people sometimes have 2 or 3 baby showers.  So they get tons of things for the baby before he or she is born.  And clothes are really cheap here. You can get a cute dress for under 10 dollars.  So usually I get a dress and then something practical (diapers??).  But people also register here too.  Like, this is what I want for my baby.  That seems crazy to me as well, but I will probably register whenever I'm pregnant.  But yeah, that's my rant on the crazy baby culture of So Cal.

waterlilybarb

People here register too.  I don't mind that because it lets you know what they need.  It also makes it easier if you want to go in with a couple friends or relatives to buy a more expensive gift - like the stroller or car seat.  It makes it nice so they aren't getting duplicates of things you only need 1 of, and if they go crazy with the registry I just look through the whole thing and find an item (or a number of smaller items) that are in my budget.  Diapers are great because you can buy a larger size and know they will be used.  I'm the queen of practical gift giving, but if it's for a really close friend (or family member) I always throw something more personal (usually not from the registry) in the mix.  I don't knit anymore, but when my 1st nephew was born, besides the practical gift I bought, I knitted him a little cap.  My brother LOVED it.

As for knowing the sex, I probably wouldn't want to know.  To me it's one of the few surprises you can still have.  I've never cared about what gender a child is, if they found out ahead of time or not.  A baby is great however it comes out - but healthy is what is most wished for.  It's different in some cultures, who have a definite bias against having girls, but if there were no girls, there would eventually be no boys either.

As for names, I like the idea of having a few ideas ahead of time and deciding when you actually meet the child.  But I have a friend who, even before she got pregnant she and her husband knew what name they would use for a boy.  When she did get pregnant and found out it was a boy they started talking to him and using his name in utero - they surprised people with the middle names though and used both grandpa's names.  They figured they should use both, because though they are planning to have one more child if it's a girl one grandpa would be left out, and they are close to both sides.

themegababe

So yes Barb, there is totally a practial side to registries.  Especially like you said, for the larger things.  But I saw someone who registered for all of these clothes.  And that seemed like too much for me.  Like, if people want to buy clothes for my future child, I want them to pick it out. But yeah, I wouldn't want someone to get a random stroller that doesn't match the rest of the baby things too.  I started making picture frames for families, so they can have something special and personal, but somewhat practical.

and i already stated my position on sex.

And names, I agree.  Having some options at first is great.  But it seems a little weird to me to have the whole child's name picked out before they are born.  (it's that way of thinking that my friends say is crazy!)

waterlilybarb

I know what you mean.  I think it's the same with wedding registries though.  Some people just go crazy and pick the most expensive items, even when you KNOW they'll never use it.  I always have a budget so I don't get sucked into trying to get the fanciest gift.  I love the practicality of the idea, but I don't like the greed that it brings out in some people.  My aunt was invited to a wedding and they actually requested on the invitations that people only give cash as a gift.  That's just tacky.  If it's someone I'm close to I'll come out and ask them if they could use the $$ more, but to put it on the invitations is going too far.  I don't think she even went to that wedding.

themegababe

  Yeah, that is totally tacky! haha  With our wedding registry they told us to dream big and put a few big things (ie a $400 set of 10 pots and pans, $300 knife set, etc) and we actually got some of them!  But we also put a lot of cheaper things, since we are younger and our friends are younger (a lot of them in their early 20s).  It worked out well!

waterlilybarb

That's different.  A good set of pots and knives will last you for years.  I've seen registries where people put gaming systems or big screen TVs on their list.  Those are nice to have, but for the people they were inviting (like you said, it's good to take that into consideration), were not gifts that they were likely to get, and they aren't necessary.  I don't mind it there are pricier things on the list, but it makes sense to me to try and keep it reasonable - unless you're rich, then ask for whatever you want - rich friends/relatives will pay ridiculous amounts of money for inane items.    

studiojek

Here in Italy they actually don't have showers (wedding or baby) at all and I find it so sad! Not only does it make it more difficult for parents who may not have a lot of money (4 people chipping in a stroller costs much less than 2 poor parents having to buy one, on top of everything else!). There are no baby registries either - and wedding registries is a fairly new phenomenon. I think the next friend who has a baby, I should start a shower trend!

themegababe

  yay!  that would be fun to start having showers in a new country.  Especially if people would appreciate it and not just be horrified (like.. I can't believe they are asking for gifts! haha)

waterlilybarb

It is kind of sad.  I hate stupid shower games, but it costs a lot to have a baby or to start out as a young married couple.  Showers are a nice way for friends and family to get together and help out, besides having an excuse for a get together.  I know the ones I generally go to are very nice and the people appreciate the gifts.  It lets them know what they still need to buy, but it also often opens their eyes as to how many people want to help.  

One thing I really liked about the last few showers I was at is they didn't announce who gave what, so no one had to feel bad if they didn't have much money and the couple or mother-to-be was just as happy with the smaller items as the larger ones.  It made for a more relaxed atmosphere.

studiojek

Yeah, I definitely am thinking I should introduce the tradition - also because baby stuff is SO expensive here - ridiculously expensive!

Two of my closest friends are pregnant, and one of them will be having a co-ed baby shower this summer when I'm visiting so I get to go! Yay! Anyway, I also like the idea of having it be co-ed and my husband is happy to go, but a lot of my friends' husbands refuse.Don't you think that's silly, and sexist? My friend also made a point of saying there aren't going to be any games and they will be serving beer as well!

shinny

P.....arty? I don't see any problem there - Men, they are so fickle !

waterlilybarb

I think once they realize it won't be a big estrogen-fest they'll get over it.  Why not make it co-ed?  It took 2 people to make the baby, why not let the fellas have some fun too?

p.s. Your hubby sounds very forward thinking - willing to go where there's free beer and food. lol

gypsiegirl66

I had co-ed showers, but I had two baby showers for my first born, one was co-ed and the other wasn't. My hubby and I, both thought it was great, to be there together to celebrate. Of course the men did spend most of the time, congregating around the bar, trading stories, and gossiping. I think it's faqntastic of you to try and get this custom going in Italy, the happy couples are missing out on so much!

I totally agree with, making sure there are reasonably priced and mostly practical gifts in the registries, for the wedding/baby showers. Both my hubby and I came from well to do families, as did/do most of our friends. I had my friends and hubby, help me do the registries. I knew most of what I wanted, and some of it was quite expensive, but a lot of it was very reasonable. I do/did have many friends that were on tight budgets, and many of the gifts that I wanted were reasonably priced. Personally, I don't see much reason for buying something just because it's a name brand, when you can buy things that are just as good (or better), at a more reasonable price. Quality is mainly what I look at, and the most expensive, in many cases, is not always the best quality.

I hope your showers, are as rewarding as mine were, and as fun too!!

themegababe

Just a note about the whole games thing, Barb.  A lot of people are actually doing less of those games, and more mellow games.  Like just a word unscramble for baby words that are all scrambled up.Nothing like changing a fake diaper on a baby, or trying to identify types of poop (yup, i've heard of those, now the poop is fake, but sticking your face in a diaper is just disgusting!).    haha Actually it has been shower season over here.  My mom and I have been throwing wedding showers for my cousins, and I had a bunch of my own, not to long ago.  but the last baby shower I went to had no games.  Just a meal and drinks (they made cute virgin drinks, but a few with alcohol) and then opening presents.  We've done games at the weddings showers, but it's been like, a quiz about the person.  And you check your own answers, so it's not like you really have to play.  And we did one where you had to guess the other half of the famous couple (ie Rhett Butler and...)  Fun but not too challenging, and no toilet paper veils or dresses involved!  Oh and we don't try on the lingerie anymore, apparently that used to be the tradition. But all of the girls my age are fighting it!

waterlilybarb

Yeah, I don't mind those type of games.  They don't monopolize the party.  Some are just inane, like the crazy ones you mentioned.  We've done door prize things, like tape something under a chair and whoever is in that chair gets a prize.  Also for wedding showers, who's been married the longest/shortest/nearest the wedding date.  Those are fun without driving people crazy.  I know many of my older friends like to come and just visit, so they appreciate when there aren't too many games.

Usually for my friends (many are quite a bit younger than me - nearer your age) we throw a personal shower for the lingerie.  That way it's only close friends that are there.  No one ever models the lingerie though.  That would be rather too much - I don't blame you gals for fighting that tradition.

waterlilybarb

For all of you who have moved before, I'm sure you'll relate.  I gave my notice (60 days here) of my move, and I got a note under my door today that the apartment will be shown tomorrow.  I know they have to get new tenants, but I HATE having strangers coming through my apartment.   Plus, I've been feeling pretty rough, so the place is not up to my standards of cleanliness/tidiness.  I've been vacuuming for what feels like ages - 2 cats shedding like mad, and there's more to do.

I just wish I had a magic wand and the place would be clean, I would be packed and I'd already be in my new place.  Oh well, I guess I'll do it the hard way like the rest of the mere mortals.

p.s. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention the temperature jumped into the 30's (Celsius) today, and my air conditioner isn't installed yet.  You can imagine how much easier that makes cleaning.

themegababe

  As boring as it is to clean, it's exciting that you get to  move soon!  That is always a good thing, maybe not the most enjoyable process. But the outcome is good!

And lingerie showers are also getting popular, just like you said, Barb.  My group of friends are pretty calm, in the partying sense, so the bachelorette is usually just dinner out and then maybe a lingerie shower.  We aren't down with the whole go out and get waster and make out with random guys thing.  My husband went paintballing for his and had a blast!

We did a tea party shower a couple weeks ago.  We had a penny under a cup, and whoever had it won the "door" prize. But prizes are actually getting cheaper, what with the whole dollar aisle thing being so nice down here (you can get a little basket with lotion and nail polish and etc for like $4).  And another fun thing is to set a timer while gifts are being opened. Then the giver of the gift that she is opening, when the timer goes off, gets a prize. That's a fun one too, no effort! haha

waterlilybarb

I am getting excited about the move - not the actual moving bit, but being in my new home.  It will be such a relief when it's over.  I'll miss my friends here, but I'll keep in touch with them, and I do have friends up there.  Of course, I'll make more friends, and get to know the ones I already have better, since there will be more time.  My Mum's getting excited too.  I just wish she'd find a place (though I'm not worried about it) so I know exactly what I have to get rid of.  If I could, I'd leave everything and just go, but it might prove costly to replace necessary items, like my bed.

You & your friends sound like you have good heads on your shoulders.  I never understood the appeal of the traditional bachelor/bachelorette parties where people go out to get drunk.  Thankfully, none of my friends are into that either.  Paintballing is a good idea for a guys day out - though it could be just as much fun for a girls day.

The dollar stores are good here too, and many use nice little gifts from there as door prizes.  Tea towels, oven mitts or little baskets like you described are always a hit, because they're things most everyone can use.

studiojek

Agh, you totally don't need that stress right now, but like Meg and you both said, at least you are excited to move!

Sorry if you've repeated this a trillion times but I don't think I know where you're moving to?