waterlilybarb

It's an old saying that means I'm back off to work.   But there is a salt mine in my city.

waterlilybarb

I know what you mean about the baby clothes, though the outfits for little boys are getting better now.  Do our friends know what sex there babies are?  Generally I try to stay practical for baby showers, as all the little things add up.  If I can afford it and find an outfit that's really adorable, I sometimes get one dress.  Most people dress newborns in sleepers for around the house.  Onesies are great, you can never have too many of those, and unless you know your friends will be taking the baby anywhere (like if they are regular church goers) those really cute dresses often don't get worn since babies grow so fast.

waterlilybarb

People here register too.  I don't mind that because it lets you know what they need.  It also makes it easier if you want to go in with a couple friends or relatives to buy a more expensive gift - like the stroller or car seat.  It makes it nice so they aren't getting duplicates of things you only need 1 of, and if they go crazy with the registry I just look through the whole thing and find an item (or a number of smaller items) that are in my budget.  Diapers are great because you can buy a larger size and know they will be used.  I'm the queen of practical gift giving, but if it's for a really close friend (or family member) I always throw something more personal (usually not from the registry) in the mix.  I don't knit anymore, but when my 1st nephew was born, besides the practical gift I bought, I knitted him a little cap.  My brother LOVED it.

As for knowing the sex, I probably wouldn't want to know.  To me it's one of the few surprises you can still have.  I've never cared about what gender a child is, if they found out ahead of time or not.  A baby is great however it comes out - but healthy is what is most wished for.  It's different in some cultures, who have a definite bias against having girls, but if there were no girls, there would eventually be no boys either.

As for names, I like the idea of having a few ideas ahead of time and deciding when you actually meet the child.  But I have a friend who, even before she got pregnant she and her husband knew what name they would use for a boy.  When she did get pregnant and found out it was a boy they started talking to him and using his name in utero - they surprised people with the middle names though and used both grandpa's names.  They figured they should use both, because though they are planning to have one more child if it's a girl one grandpa would be left out, and they are close to both sides.

waterlilybarb

I know what you mean.  I think it's the same with wedding registries though.  Some people just go crazy and pick the most expensive items, even when you KNOW they'll never use it.  I always have a budget so I don't get sucked into trying to get the fanciest gift.  I love the practicality of the idea, but I don't like the greed that it brings out in some people.  My aunt was invited to a wedding and they actually requested on the invitations that people only give cash as a gift.  That's just tacky.  If it's someone I'm close to I'll come out and ask them if they could use the $$ more, but to put it on the invitations is going too far.  I don't think she even went to that wedding.

waterlilybarb

That's different.  A good set of pots and knives will last you for years.  I've seen registries where people put gaming systems or big screen TVs on their list.  Those are nice to have, but for the people they were inviting (like you said, it's good to take that into consideration), were not gifts that they were likely to get, and they aren't necessary.  I don't mind it there are pricier things on the list, but it makes sense to me to try and keep it reasonable - unless you're rich, then ask for whatever you want - rich friends/relatives will pay ridiculous amounts of money for inane items.    

waterlilybarb

It is kind of sad.  I hate stupid shower games, but it costs a lot to have a baby or to start out as a young married couple.  Showers are a nice way for friends and family to get together and help out, besides having an excuse for a get together.  I know the ones I generally go to are very nice and the people appreciate the gifts.  It lets them know what they still need to buy, but it also often opens their eyes as to how many people want to help.  

One thing I really liked about the last few showers I was at is they didn't announce who gave what, so no one had to feel bad if they didn't have much money and the couple or mother-to-be was just as happy with the smaller items as the larger ones.  It made for a more relaxed atmosphere.

waterlilybarb

I think once they realize it won't be a big estrogen-fest they'll get over it.  Why not make it co-ed?  It took 2 people to make the baby, why not let the fellas have some fun too?

p.s. Your hubby sounds very forward thinking - willing to go where there's free beer and food. lol

waterlilybarb

Yeah, I don't mind those type of games.  They don't monopolize the party.  Some are just inane, like the crazy ones you mentioned.  We've done door prize things, like tape something under a chair and whoever is in that chair gets a prize.  Also for wedding showers, who's been married the longest/shortest/nearest the wedding date.  Those are fun without driving people crazy.  I know many of my older friends like to come and just visit, so they appreciate when there aren't too many games.

Usually for my friends (many are quite a bit younger than me - nearer your age) we throw a personal shower for the lingerie.  That way it's only close friends that are there.  No one ever models the lingerie though.  That would be rather too much - I don't blame you gals for fighting that tradition.

waterlilybarb

For all of you who have moved before, I'm sure you'll relate.  I gave my notice (60 days here) of my move, and I got a note under my door today that the apartment will be shown tomorrow.  I know they have to get new tenants, but I HATE having strangers coming through my apartment.   Plus, I've been feeling pretty rough, so the place is not up to my standards of cleanliness/tidiness.  I've been vacuuming for what feels like ages - 2 cats shedding like mad, and there's more to do.

I just wish I had a magic wand and the place would be clean, I would be packed and I'd already be in my new place.  Oh well, I guess I'll do it the hard way like the rest of the mere mortals.

p.s. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention the temperature jumped into the 30's (Celsius) today, and my air conditioner isn't installed yet.  You can imagine how much easier that makes cleaning.

waterlilybarb

I am getting excited about the move - not the actual moving bit, but being in my new home.  It will be such a relief when it's over.  I'll miss my friends here, but I'll keep in touch with them, and I do have friends up there.  Of course, I'll make more friends, and get to know the ones I already have better, since there will be more time.  My Mum's getting excited too.  I just wish she'd find a place (though I'm not worried about it) so I know exactly what I have to get rid of.  If I could, I'd leave everything and just go, but it might prove costly to replace necessary items, like my bed.

You & your friends sound like you have good heads on your shoulders.  I never understood the appeal of the traditional bachelor/bachelorette parties where people go out to get drunk.  Thankfully, none of my friends are into that either.  Paintballing is a good idea for a guys day out - though it could be just as much fun for a girls day.

The dollar stores are good here too, and many use nice little gifts from there as door prizes.  Tea towels, oven mitts or little baskets like you described are always a hit, because they're things most everyone can use.

waterlilybarb

I'm moving to Northern Ontario (about 1hr. drive from Sault Ste. Marie - in case you know the area), about 5-600 miles north of where I currently live.  My Mum lives up there and I've been going there since before I can remember, so it's almost like going home.

waterlilybarb

That's the plan.  The house my Mum is in now is too small.  It's my Grandparent's old house.  It's fine for a visit, but we'd feel like we were on top of each other all the time if we lived there - plus there's far too much yard work for either of us to maintain.  She's on the lookout for a house we can rent...hopefully nearer to town.  She has a dog that she doesn't want to give up (I don't want her to either), and he needs a yard, so an apartment just wouldn't work.

It's not 100% necessary that she find a place before I arrive, but it would be nice.  I REALLY don't want to have to move more than once.

waterlilybarb

If it isn't my old nemesis and curmudgeonly rival.

Never gonna happen my friend!  This thread is still hangin' in there, and we girlies LOVE it.

Nice of you stop by your old stomping grounds though.

waterlilybarb

I assume you mean Gary and not me...though I could have a spot in the fellas Hall of Fame too, just for being me.

waterlilybarb

Who needs tech knowledge when you're cute?   You should have seen me dancin' all over my living room while I watched Hairspray tonight.  The guys would've paid good money to see that.

waterlilybarb

Thankfully, my Mum is my best friend.  We are different enough that we don't drive each other nuts and alike enough that we have fun together.  The main reason I won't live at my Grandparent's house though is that it would feel like neither of us could have any privacy.  I definitely need my space.  As long as I have a spot that I can escape to when I need to be alone (feeling a little like Greta Garbo ) I'm good.

waterlilybarb

I appreciate it too.  I see many mothers & daughters that don't get along or just don't have the kind of close relationship we've been blessed to have.  My Mum was fortunate to have the same wonderful friendship with her own mother.  She's still my Mum, and I respect her as such, but it's so nice that we are such good friends.  

And, yeah, when I don't get any time to myself I can be a nightmare!  Thankfully my Mum already knows this and is willing to risk it.

waterlilybarb

I figured he must be transgendered, but they didn't say how he got pregnant.  I'm assuming they either had a friend be the donor or went to a sperm bank.  I think it was a bit obvious that he'd have a C-section, since he's already had the gender reassignment surgery.  It would be impossible to give birth any other way.

waterlilybarb

It's a peculiar situation alright.  I can't say I really understand the transgender thing - though I believe it.  It must be very confusing to feel like you're not in the right body, especially as a child.  It's nice he has a supportive wife.

waterlilybarb

Everyone is different.  Some people like to have their children young so they can have the energy to play with them.  Also, if your cousin & her husband want a larger family, they might have wanted to start right away, or it could have been an OOPS.   

My Mum was only 17 when she married and 18 when she had me.  I wouldn't recommend that, but it was common at the time.  It was great having a young Mum.  Many of my friends were the youngest of large families so their parents were older.  They all loved my Mum too - they still do.