Subject: SEINFELD - Episode Guides [Print This Page]
Author: sddvasquez Time: 3-26-2008 07:46 Subject: SEINFELD - Episode Guides
Seinfeld - Episode Guides
click the links for the corresponding season
season 1
season 2
season 3
season 4
season 5
season 6
season 7
season 8
season 9
info from wikipedia.org
Author: sddvasquez Time: 3-26-2008 07:47
Season One
1. The Seinfeld Chronicles
When Jerry gets a phone call from a woman he met out of town, George and "Kessler" (known as Kramer in all later episodes) weigh in on the situation.
2. The Stakeout
Jerry meets a woman at a party but learns only where she works, so he and George stake out her building.
3. The Robbery
Jerry is robbed when Kramer leaves his door open. George finds Jerry a prospective new apartment, but George secretly wants it for himself.
4. Male Unbonding
Jerry tries to end a friendship with a childhood friend. Kramer wants to open a make-your-own pizza shop.
5. The Stock Tip
George gets a stellar stock tip that he passes to Jerry. Jerry goes on a weekend date with Vanessa.
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Author: sddvasquez Time: 3-26-2008 07:47
Season Two
1. The Ex-Girlfriend
Jerry begins seeing George's ex-girlfriend, Marlene, whom George finds annoying. Marlene breaks up with Jerry after seeing his act.
2. The Pony Remark
Jerry wonders if his off-the-cuff remark killed an aunt.
3. The Jacket
Jerry builds up the confidence to buy an expensive jacket, only to have it ruined when he and George meet Elaine's father for dinner.
4. The Phone Message
George leaves several nasty messages on a girlfriend's answering machine, then decides to steal the tape.
5. The Apartment
Jerry finds Elaine an apartment in his building, then realizes the downside to their living in the same building.
6. The Statue
Jerry has his apartment cleaned by the boyfriend of Elaine's client, then finds a valuable statue missing.
7. The Revenge
George quits his job after tiring of his demanding boss. He immediately regrets his decision and after trying to get his job back, he attempts revenge when crashing a company party.
8. The Heart Attack
George thinks he has a heart attack but actually needs a tonsillectomy, leading Kramer to recommend a holistic healer as a cheaper alternative.
9. The Deal
After coming across a soft-core pornographic film, Elaine and Jerry renew their sexual relationship, with some ground rules.
10. The Baby Shower
Elaine holds a baby shower for a friend (also someone George briefly dated) at Jerry's apartment. Kramer convinces Jerry to pirate cable television.
11. The Chinese Restaurant
Jerry, George and Elaine wait for a table at a Chinese restaurant.
12. The Busboy
George feels guilty when a busboy is fired, while Elaine's boyfriend wears out his welcome.
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Author: sddvasquez Time: 3-26-2008 07:50
Season Three
1. The Note
Jerry, George, and Elaine receive free massages. Afterwards, George questions his sexuality.
2. The Truth
Jerry is being audited by the IRS and George's girlfriend is supposed to fix his tax situation. George tells his ex-girlfriend why he ends their relationship, which puts her in a mental institution. Kramer sees Elaine naked.
3. The Pen
Jerry and Elaine fly to Florida to visit Jerry's parents, where one of his dad's friends gives him a beloved pen. Jerry has a scuba accident and Elaine suffers a night on sleeping on a couch.
4. The Dog
Jerry is left with a belligerent dog. George and Elaine realize they have little in common.
5. The Library
Jerry and George recall their high school years when Jerry learns that a library book he checked out in 1971 is overdue.
6. The Parking Garage
Jerry, Elaine, George and Kramer get lost in a parking garage after shopping for an air conditioner.
7. The Cafe
Jerry visits an empty restaurant. Elaine takes an IQ test for George.
8. The Tape
George orders a baldness remedy from China. Elaine anonymously leaves an erotic message on Jerry's tape recorder.
9. The Nose Job
Kramer encourages George's new girlfriend to get rhinoplasty. Jerry is conflicted about a beautiful actress with whom he has nothing in common.
10. The Stranded
George leaves Jerry and Elaine waiting for a very tardy Kramer at a party. The party host (Michael Chiklis) befriends Kramer and ends up spending a wild night with a prostitute at Jerry's apartment days later.
11. The Alternate Side
George takes a job moving cars across the street. Elaine cares for her 66-year-old boyfriend. Kramer gets a bit part in a movie and popularizes his one line.
12. The Red Dot
Elaine finds George a job at a publishing company; he repays her with a damaged gift. Jerry accidentally reintroduces Elaine's alcoholic boyfriend to liquor.
13. The Subway
Each of the four principal characters has a unique experience on the subway.
14. The Pez Dispenser
Jerry's PEZ dispenser causes a scene at a piano recital by George's girlfriend. Kramer creates a cologne.
15. The Suicide
After a neighbor attempts suicide, Jerry visits him at the hospital and becomes attracted to the girlfriend. Elaine develops a ravenous appetite after fasting for a medical exam.
16. The Fix-Up
Jerry and Elaine set George up on a blind date; Kramer gives George a defective condom.
17. The Boyfriend, Pt. 1
Jerry befriends Keith Hernandez at the gym; Kramer recounts an incident in which Newman and he were spat on while leaving a New York Mets game. George tells the Unemployment Office that he is close to a job with the fictional Vandelay Industries, which is based in Jerry's apartment.
18. The Boyfriend, Pt. 2
Jerry becomes jealous when Keith Hernandez begins dating Elaine. George comes up with a scheme to collect unemployment. The spitting incident is revisited, and a "second spitter" theory, Ã la Kennedy assassination is discussed.
19. The Limo
Jerry and George board a limousine intended for other passengers. They invite Kramer and Elaine to join them but later learn that the intended riders were neo-Nazis, for whom they have been mistaken.
20. The Good Samaritan
Jerry trails a hit-and-run driver but is attracted to her and begins dating her; he later learns the victim was a longtime quarry and dates her as well. Kramer begins having seizures whenever he hears Mary Hart's voice.
21. The Letter
Jerry learns that his new artist friend (played by Catherine Keener), from whom George has been forced to buy a painting, plagiarized a letter to keep him from breaking up with her. Elaine refuses to remove her Baltimore Orioles cap during a New York Yankees game.
22. The Parking Space
George and another of Kramer's friends face off over a parking space.
23. The Keys
Becoming annoyed at Kramer's invasions of privacy, Jerry takes away his spare key. A shaken Kramer leaves for California to pursue an acting career. As George, Elaine, and Jerry exchange spare key privileges, Jerry and George learn that Elaine is secretly writing a Murphy Brown script; Kramer is later hired to play Brown's secretary.
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Author: sddvasquez Time: 3-26-2008 08:04
Season Four
1. The Trip, Pt. 1
When Jerry is asked to appear on The Tonight Show in Los Angeles, George accompanies him to look for Kramer, in a continuation of the season three finale.
2. The Trip, Pt. 2
Kramer is arrested when he is mistaken for a serial killer. After Kramer is exonerated, they return to New York.
3. The Pitch
NBC television executives approach Jerry to write a pilot for a sitcom. Crazy Joe Davola begins to stalk both Jerry and Kramer.
4. The Ticket
Newman uses Kramer as his witness after refusing to pay for a speeding ticket.
5. The Wallet
Jerry has to explain to his parents why he does not wear the watch they gave him. Morty Seinfeld thinks his wallet has been stolen from him at his doctor's appointment.
6. The Watch
Jerry tries to buy his watch back from Uncle Leo, who found it in the trash after Jerry threw it away. George tries to resurrect the fledgling NBC deal, while Elaine, with Kramer's help, plans a break up from her psychotherapist boyfriend.
7. The Bubble Boy
On the way to driving to the Ross' cabin, Jerry agrees to visit a fan who lives in a plastic bubble. Jerry loses his way, though, and George and Susan visit the boy instead.
8. The Cheever Letters
Jerry offends Elaine's assistant. Kramer makes a contact for Cuban cigars. A box of love letters from John Cheever is all that remains after the cabin burns down.
9. The Opera
Elaine realizes her boyfriend is actually Crazy Joe Davola. George, Jerry and Elaine endure a night at the opera with a group of clowns.
10. The Virgin
Jerry discovers the woman (guest star Jane Leeves) he is dating is a virgin. Kramer continues to harass Jerry and George when they are trying to write a teleplay for their NBC pilot.
11. The Contest
After George is caught masturbating by his mother, the four main characters devise a contest to see who can go the longest without pleasuring him/herself. Marla, Jerry's girlfriend, with whom he has yet to have sex, learns of the contest and is disgusted. Elaine meets John F. Kennedy, Jr. George's mother is hospitalized.
12. The Airport
Jerry and Elaine experience the differences between travelling in first class and in coach. George and Kramer travel to two different airports after Jerry and Elaine's flight is twice rerouted.
13. The Pick
Jerry is seen ostensibly picking his nose by his new girlfriend, a model, and tries to convince her that he was only scratching around his nose. Elaine mails a Christmas card that is unintentionally revealing.
14. The Movie
The four main characters continually miss each other as they try to attend a film together.
15. The Visa
Jerry's attempts to keep Babu Bhatt from being deported are unsuccessful. Elaine tries to get George's attorney girlfriend to drop a lawsuit against Elaine.
16. The Shoes
Jerry and George have their television pilot shelved after George is caught looking at the cleavage of the daughter of an NBC executive. Elaine, bothered by gossip about her new shoes, helps ameliorate the problem.
17. The Outing
Jerry and George are mistaken as homosexuals by a college newspaper reporter and are publicly outed.
18. The Old Man
Jerry, George and Elaine volunteer to spend time with senior citizens.
19. The Implant
Jerry sends Elaine to find out if his new girlfriend Sidra's (guest star Teri Hatcher) breasts are natural or faux. George "double dips" a chip at a funeral repast, for which he is chastised.
20. The Junior Mint
Jerry is puzzled after he cannot remember the name of his girlfriend; he recalls only her observation that it rhymes with a part of the female anatomy. While Kramer and Jerry watch an operation performed on a former boyfriend of Elaine, Kramer drops a Junior Mints candy into the man's open chest cavity, with salutary results.
21. The Smelly Car
A valet with offensive body odor stinks up Jerry's car and anyone who comes in contact with him. George believes he affected Susan's becoming a lesbian.
22. The Handicap Spot
George parks his father's car in a handicap parking spot; after a disabled driver is unable to find a handicap spot and is injured, an angry mob destroys the car. Elaine and Jerry buy a television as a wedding gift for The Drake, but then the wedding is called off. Frank Costanza appears for the first time, and George becomes his butler since the car was ticketed for being parked in a handicap spot.
23. The Pilot, Pt. 1
Jerry and George begin casting for their pilot, Jerry, which is finally ready. George is upset over the casting of his alter ego. NBC executive Russell Dalrimple becomes obsessed with Elaine, who files a complaint when she concludes that Monk's only hires large-breasted women.
24. The Pilot, Pt. 2
Jerry and George prepare for the taping of Jerry as George, who again does not have Lupus, continues to harp TV Kramer about the missing raisins. Elaine wears a disguise to hide from Dalrimple.
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Author: sddvasquez Time: 3-26-2008 08:24
Season Five
1. The Mango
George lacks confidence after a love-making session ends with his girlfriend's (guest star Lisa Edelstein) apparently faking her orgasm. When Jerry learns that Elaine faked orgasms with him, he begs for another chance. After Kramer is banned from his favorite fruit shop, he sends Jerry to buy fruit for him, but the shop owner soon realizes the fruit is for Kramer and bans Jerry as well. George discovers the sexual power of the mango.
2. The Puffy Shirt
Having taken a job as a hand model, George becomes obsessed with the condition of his hands. Jerry agrees to wear a shirt designed by Kramer's girlfriend, a "low talker" whose query Jerry doesn't hear, when he appears on The Today Show; the shirt turns out to be a puffy pirate shirt.
3. The Glasses
Elaine is bitten by a dog and develops an aversion to the animals. While without his glasses, George sees what he thinks to be a kiss between Jerry's cousin and Jerry's girlfriend and then Jerry and George investigate.
4. The Sniffing Accountant
George, at the urging of his father, interviews for a job as a brassiere salesman. Jerry's accountant shows signs of drug use, and Kramer and Newman are dispatched to determine the truth. Elaine finds a boyfriend whom she thinks to be perfect but whose use of exclamation points irks her.
5. The Bris
George finds an excellent parking spot but must spend time protecting it. Kramer thinks he has discovered the result of genetic engineering experiment commissioned by the U.S. Army (a "pig man"). Elaine and Jerry are asked to be godparents but worry about participating in the baby's circumcision.
6. The Lip Reader
Jerry begins dating a deaf line judge from the U.S. Open (guest star Marlee Matlin); George uses her lip reading skills to determine what an ex-girlfriend is saying about him. Kramer becomes a "ball man" at the Open but ultimately injures Monica Seles as the latter returns to competitive tennis.
7. The Non-Fat Yogurt
Jerry, Elaine and George eat at a non-fat frozen yogurt shop in which Kramer has invested, but gain weight and fear that the yogurt is not as healthy as its purveyors claim. Jerry inadvertently uses an obscene word while near a sleezy neighbor's clueless son, who himself starts to frequently use the word. Elaine commissions a laboratory to evaluate the yogurt and unknowingly gives her boyfriend, Lloyd Braun (also George's nemesis), the idea to promote name tags for everyone in New York City, which he then suggests to the current mayor of New York City, David Dinkins. Kramer's date with a lab technician produces a very odd cholesterol test result for Dinkins' opponent, Rudy Giuliani.
8. The Barber
Uncertain about a job interview he has had, George decides to feign that he is a hired employee while the boss is out of town. Jerry receives a bad haircut from his longtime barber but fears seeing a new hairdresser; Kramer arranges a clandestine haircut, but Jerry's erstwhile barber becomes suspicious and bribes Newman into obtaining a sample of Jerry's hair.
9. The Masseuse
Elaine dates a man who shares the name of a notorious serial killer (Joel Rifkin) and tries to convince him to change his name. Jerry's girlfriend, a masseuse (guest star Jennifer Coolidge), seems unwilling to give Jerry a massage, even as she takes Kramer as a client. Meanwhile, she is not fond of George, leading him incessantly to wonder why.
10. The Cigar Store Indian
While Jerry helps George with a coffee table stain, Elaine must take the subway home; she takes Frank Costanza's TV Guide as reading material. George meets a woman at a furniture refinishing store and takes her to his parents' home, pretending that it is his. Jerry is interested in a Native American woman, but she is offended when he presents Elaine with an Indian figurine as a peace offering. Having had sex with his furniture store quarry, George leaves a condom wrapper in his parents' bed; his parents discover not only the wrapper but also the absence of Frank's TV Guide (he is a collector) and punish him. Kramer pitches a coffee table book.
11. The Conversion
George converts to the Latvian Orthodox religion in order to keep a girlfriend who would otherwise break up with him for religious reasons. Jerry finds a fungus cream in his girlfriend's medicine cabinet and, wondering what the cream might treat, convinces Elaine to ask her boyfriend, a podiatrist. Kramer meets a nun at George's church but must break up with her when she decides to forsake religion for him.
12. The Stall
Elaine asks a woman in a neighboring toilet stall for toilet paper, but the woman "can't spare a square". Elaine later realizes that the woman is Jerry's girlfriend, whom Kramer also recognizes as an operator from a telephone sex line. Elaine, meanwhile, becomes enamored of her boyfriend's face, but he falls while rock climbing with George and Kramer, leaving her to wonder whether his face will ever be the same.
13. The Dinner Party
As the four principal characters struggle to find gifts for a dinner party, Jerry and Elaine stop at a bakery to purchase a babka; they fail to take a number, however, and end up with a cake with a human hair on it. Kramer and George go to purchase wine but must change a $100 bill and then wait for a double-parker to return to his car.
14. The Marine Biologist
Jerry meets a former college classmate who inquires about George; Jerry lies and tells him George is a marine biologist. A Russian author whom Elaine is escorting angrily tosses her electronic organizer out of a limousine they share. Kramer hits golf balls into the ocean, and, when one imperils a whale, George is called upon to use his marine biology skills.
15. The Pie
Jerry is miffed after his girlfriend Audrey elects not to share a piece of pie with him; when later he eats at her father's restaurant (the first appearance of Poppie's), he becomes concerned about food preparation. Jerry and George find that a store mannequin looks like Elaine; she becomes interested in its genesis. George tussles with a store patron over a suit but finds that it makes an unpleasant noise.
16. The Stand In
Kramer convinces his friend Mickey, a little person, to use lifts to keep his job, but his ruse is later discovered by other short-statured actors. Jerry visits an ill friend at the hospital and feels added pressure to be funny after his first visit coincides with a deterioration in the man's condition. George, finding he has nothing about which to talk with his girlfriend, wants to break up but holds off he learns she is being encouraged to end the relationship. Elaine dates a friend of Jerry, and the man "takes it [his penis] out" on the pair's first date.
17. The Wife
Jerry's girlfriend (guest star Courteney Cox) poses as his wife in order that she may share in his dry cleaning discount. George urinates in the shower while at the health club and fears he may be reported to management. Elaine gets mixed signals from a prospective boyfriend in whom she is interested.
18. The Raincoats, Pt. 1
Jerry's parents stay with him while waiting to travel to Paris, preventing Jerry, back from a three-week trip, from spending time alone with his girlfriend. The Seinfelds and Costanzas each decline dinner invitations from the other. The Seinfelds are shown the city by Elaine's new boyfriend (guest star Judge Reinhold), a "close talker" who takes an unusual interest in them. George, having signed up to mentor a child through the Big Brothers program, tries several times to escape his new responsibility. Kramer, meanwhile, agrees with Morty Seinfeld to sell beltless raincoats, while George sells his father's moth-laden summer clothes, unaware that his parents are planning a cruise.
19. The Raincoats, Pt. 2
Jerry and his girlfriend finally have time together alone as they view Schindler's List; Newman sees the two as they kiss and fail to watch the movie. Morty's raincoats are delayed, causing the Seinfelds to miss their flight to France; George seizes the opportunity and attempts to shirk his Big Brothers role. The quasi-feud between Jerry's and George's parents continue.
20. The Fire
Kramer invites his girlfriend, a co-worker whom Elaine finds annoying, to Jerry's show, and she heckles him ceaselessly. George, attending his girlfriend's son's birthday party, panics when fire breaks out and rushes away, pushing down children, seniors, and a performer in the process. Jerry takes revenge on his heckler by appearing at her workplace to heckle her; she runs out of her office and onto the street and loses a toe. Kramer finds the toe and boards a bus to go to the hospital; a gunman commandeers the bus but Kramer overcomes him.
21. The Hamptons
The four principal characters travel to the Hamptons to see a baby; they find that the baby is altogether ugly. Kramer finds a filled lobster trap and thinks the catch belong to him. George's girlfriend exposes her breasts to everyone—save George—and George is seen naked by Jerry's girlfriend, to whom he tries vainly to explain that, having just gotten out of the water, he is a victim of penile "shrinkage." Elaine is thrilled to be termed breathtaking by a doctor (guest star Richard Burgi) until she finds he ascribes the same appellative to the baby.
22. The Opposite
George decides that he must do everything in a fashion opposite of that in which he would normally do things and he experiences good luck, moving out of his parents' house, landing a job with the New York Yankees baseball club, and finding a girlfriend. Elaine apparently exchanges luck with George; her eating a box of Jujyfruits seems to cause the collapse of Pendant Publishing. Kramer appears on Live with Regis & Kathie Lee to promote his coffee table book.
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Author: sddvasquez Time: 3-27-2008 19:26
Season Six
1. The Chaperone
Jerry meets Miss Rhode Island, who is competing in the Miss America pageant and consequently must be chaperoned on her date with Jerry; Kramer fills the role and quickly becomes her personal coach. Elaine seeks to follow in the footsteps of Jackie Kennedy Onassis in securing a position with Doubleday, but she soon finds her job as personal assistant to an executive to be unfulfilling. George replaces polyester with cotton as the material for the Yankees' uniforms, with alarming results.
2. The Big Salad
Elaine's boss wants a special mechanical pencil, so Elaine tries to get one from a stationary store where the clerk has a thing for her. George and his girlfriend pick up a "big salad" for Elaine, that his girlfriend gives to Elaine and she thanks her. Later, George points out that he bought the "big salad." Jerry discovers that his current girlfriend once dated Newman, who broke off his relationship with her. Kramer plays golf with an ex-ball player who breaks a rule of golf, they have a fight, and later the ball player is wanted for questioning in the murder of a dry cleaner, where a golf tee was involved. Kramer later helps him evade the police in a white Ford Bronco. The big salad causes tension between Elaine and George.
3. The Pledge Drive
Jerry comments that a friend was hitting on him and Elaine tries to find out if what was true, but gets the voice of the woman and her current boyfriend confused. Elaine's boss eats his Snickers bar with a knife and fork and idea that soon catches on. George thinks a waitress gave him the finger. Jerry gets caught throwing away a thank you card. Jerry cashes some old birthday checks from his grandmother. Jerry's working a PBS pledge drive and gets George to bring a Yankee to appear with him, while en-route to the studio, someone gives George the finger.
4. The Chinese Woman
Jerry and Elaine see George's father with a man with a cape but don't say hello. Jerry discovers a Chinese woman on George's phone line after the wires get crossed and he gets a date with her. Kramer gets worried about his sperm count, so he goes to a fertility clinic and then makes a change in his choice of undergarments. Elaine ruins her friend Noreen's latest romance with a long talker. The Chinese woman turns out to be Jewish and from Long Island. Estelle gets advice about her relationship with Frank from the Chinese woman, but discounts it when she meets her. George's life is made miserable when his parent's separate.
5. The Couch
Elaine begins to date the guy who delivers Jerry's new couch. Kramer plans to start the pizza business he thought of back in "Male Unbonding" with Poppie. George joins a book club, but tries to rent the movie so he can bluff his way through the meeting. Jerry and Elaine's discussion of the abortion issue causes trouble for Poppie, Elaine's relationship & Jerry's new couch. George spends the evening with the family that has rented the film.
6. The Gymnast
George and Kramer convince Jerry he'll be missing out on something if he stops dating a Romanian Olympic gymnast. Jerry and Kramer find out about one of George's bathroom habits. Kramer must pass a kidney stone. The mother of George's girlfriend sees him eat something out of a trash bin, later cleaning a windshield & one of his bathroom habits. Elaine's boss becomes obsessed with finding the image in a 3-D painting, so he sends her to represent him in a huge merger deal.
7. The Soup
Elaine brings over a man she met in England and he turns out to be a real bounder. Jerry accepts an Armani suit from an obnoxious comedian, the only condition, he must treat him to a meal at a restaurant; however, what makes up a meal. George goes for a walk with a waitress from Monk's and manure in the path sums up his relationship with her. After his kidney stone, Kramer decides to eat only fresh foods.
8. The Mom & Pop Store
A salesman convinces George to buy a convertible once owned by "Jon Voight." Kramer tries to save a small shoe-repair business, but his good intentions affect Jerry in a big way. Elaine wins tickets for Mr. Pitt, who's always wanted to participate in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.
9. The Secretary
At the movies, Jerry thinks he sees his drycleaner wearing his clothes, and Kramer gets Uma Thurman's phone number. Elaine buys a fancy dress, but soon begins to suspect that the store uses flattering mirrors. Meanwhile, George is proud of his responsible choice of who to hire as his new secretary. But, when things turn romantic, it puts George in an awkward position.
10. The Race
Through his current girlfriend, Lois, Jerry meets an old rival, who suspects that he cheated in a high school race and he wants a rematch with Jerry to prove he was faster. Elaine is put on a "blacklist" for Chinese food delivery and finds out her boyfriend is a Communist. George responds to a personal ad in a Communist newspaper while at work, when Steinbrenner hears about it, he wants to see George in his office. Through his friend Mickey, Kramer becomes a department store Santa, who later spouts out Communist propaganda.
11. The Switch
Elaine lets a potential employer borrow Mr. Pitt's tennis racket, but the injury suffered may ruin her chances, especially when she must get his racket back. Jerry's girlfriend never laughs, but he meets her roommate who does, so Jerry decides he would like to make "the switch." George's model girlfriend may be bulimic. He needs proof, so he meets Kramer's mother, who's a bathroom matron. While there he finds out Kramer's first name, Cosmo. Kramer decides it is time to be himself and begins to use his first name. George has the perfect plan for "the switch," a menage a trois.
12. The Label Maker
Jerry and Elaine experience "re-gifting" and "de-gifting" when it comes to a label maker and a pair of Superbowl tickets. George loves his new girlfriend's apartment, but is shocked to learn that she has a male roommate. Meanwhile, Kramer and Newman become engrossed in a game of Risk.
13. The Scofflaw
George meets an old friend who's spent the last few months undergoing chemotherapy that everyone knew except him. Kramer calls a litterbug "a pig" near a cop who's on a quest to catch a longtime parking ticket scofflaw. Kramer wanting to change his image asks Elaine where her old boyfriend got his glasses. He goes to see him at a book signing and says hi for Elaine that means that she has lost the "upper hand" in their breakup, so she confronts him and then gets even by getting a copy of his glasses. George finds out from Gary, that he lied about his cancer and has been taking advantage of Jerry's kindness. Kramer discovers the identity of "the scofflaw." George gets a toupee.
14. The Highlights of 100, Pt.1
Jerry introduces a program that shows highlights from the first 99 episodes of a "show about nothing."
15. The Highlights of 100, Pt. 2
Jerry introduces a program that shows highlights from the first 99 episodes of a "show about nothing."
16. The Beard
Elaine tries to convert a gay man to heterosexuality. George, who's now wearing his toupee, discovers that the woman Kramer has set him up with, is bald. Kramer gives a homeless man some Chinese food and begins standing in police lineups for $50 a lineup. Jerry begins to date a cop, but she wants him to take a lie detector test, she thinks he is lying about NOT watching Melrose Place.
17. The Kiss Hello
Elaine's friend, a physical therapist, whom Jerry must "kiss hello," has an old style hairdo, that Jerry and Elaine want Kramer to comment on. Jerry's grandmother wants him to open a ketchup bottle and she tells a story about some money that Uncle Leo was supposed to give his sister. Jerry's father is anxious to collect the money and interest Leo owes. Kramer puts tenant pictures up in the lobby and soon Jerry is giving every woman in the building, the "kiss hello"; however, when he stops, he becomes unpopular. George gets his arm looked at, misses a follow up appointment and must pay for that visit. The therapist skips out on her patients, including George, and goes skiing with Elaine. After their trip, she drops Elaine off 3 blocks from her apartment. Elaine injures her shoulder carrying her equipment home, and can't get any complementary treatment. Jerry gets proof of his uncle's dishonesty.
18. The Doorman
The doorman in Mr. Pitt's building, cause's trouble for Jerry who was only trying to be nice. Kramer robs George on the street for some German tourists. George's father is living with him and when he removes his shirt, George and Kramer see that he has breasts. So, Kramer develops a new undergarment for males ("The Bro" or "The Manssiere") that will alleviate this problem. Jerry offers his soiled couch to replace the one that was stolen while he was "on duty."
19. The Jimmy
The guys play a game of basketball with "the Jimmy," a man who talks about himself in the third person. Jimmy sells odd shaped training shoes and George is an interested investor. Fresh from the gym, he attends a Yankees meeting about thefts, during which he sweats profusely. Jerry goes to the dental office and discovers they now carry Penthouse in the waiting room. Elaine gets tickets to a benefit for the AMCA (Able Mentally Challenged Adults) featuring Mel Torme, the "Velvet Fog." Elaine tries to meet a handsome guy at the gym, but instead talks with "the Jimmy," who makes the date for himself. On a follow-up visit to the dental office, Jerry feels the dentist and his hygienist may have lived out a fantasy during his time in the chair, the type of thing you might read in Penthouse. Kramer has a visit to the dentist complete with Novocain, later while wearing a pair of Jimmy's shoes, winds up getting a him a seat at the main table of the benefit.
20. The Doodle
Jerry discovers that his apartment is infested with fleas. As it's being fumigated Elaine can't get at a manuscript she needs for a job interview, Kramer loses his sense of taste, and Jerry's obsession with hygiene gets him into his girlfriend's bad books. Meanwhile, George finds out that his girlfriend doesn't care about looks… which may be less of an insult than he originally thought.
21. The Fusilli Jerry
Estelle is getting an eye job. Kramer gets his new license plates from the DMV, but the plates say "ASSMAN." Jerry is disturbed when he finds out his mechanic used his "move" on Elaine while making love to her. Kramer makes a statue of Jerry out of fusilli pasta and he makes the most of his new license plates. Jerry confronts his mechanic and later requires his services. Frank becomes the unwitting victim of one of those "freak" accidents proctologists are always telling stories about.
22. The Diplomat's Club
After his quick trip to Ithaca, Jerry plans to meet a super model at an airport club, but his assistant, Katie, makes the trip a nightmare. Elaine says she will quit working for Mr. Pitt, but finds out that she's going to be in his will. She becomes a suspect when he overdoses his medication. George tries to prove to his boss that he is not a racist, when he says his boss looks like "Sugar" Ray Leonard. To prove it, he tries to find anyone who's black that will be his friend. While at the airport club, Kramer meets a rich Texan with whom he starts making bets. Kramer hasn't gambled in three years and when he begins to lose, he calls in Newman for reinforcement.
23. The Face Painter
George and his girlfriend discuss toilet paper and he is in love. Elaine's boyfriend paints his face and his behavior at a hockey game disturbs Jerry, Elaine and a passing priest. A monkey throws a banana peel at Kramer, when he throws it back, the monkey becomes depressed and the zoo demands an apology. George tries to tell his girlfriend that he loves her, but her reaction surprises him. Jerry refuses to give the "necessary" follow-up courtesy thank you for the hockey tickets and Kramer is outraged.
24. The Understudy
George and Jerry are suspected, by the cast and Kramer, of deliberately injuring Bette Midler during a softball game, giving Jerry's girlfriend, Bette's understudy, a chance to perform. Kramer becomes Bette's personal assistant. Elaine gets George's father to translate for her when she suspects that her manicurist has made some obvious snide remarks in a foreign tongue. While crying about losing her manicurists, Elaine meets the owner of a catalog, J. Peterman, and gets herself a new job.
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Author: sddvasquez Time: 4-10-2008 17:25
Season Seven
1. The Engagement
Jerry and George reevaluate their relationships with women, so they make "a pact" to change their ways, though Jerry doesn't know it. Elaine has a problem sleeping in her new apartment because of a nearby constantly barking dog; Kramer recommends a solution. George gets back with Susan, his former girlfriend from NBC; he asks her to marry him, and after a couple hours of convincing she says yes. Kramer, his solution (Newman) and Elaine commit a dognapping and take the dog far out of the city. Jerry breaks up with his girlfriend again; however, George is now trapped in his relationship with Susan, almost to the point where he is married already. Elaine almost gets a good night of sleep.
2. The Postponement
Elaine's dog problem is solved by a neighborly rabbi with a cable show. Kramer's involvement in the dognapping worries him when he finds out about its impact on his permanent record. Overwhelmed with it all, George decides he wants to postpone the engagement. Elaine isn't "concerned" with George's intentions, but is really jealous that he's the first of the group to get engaged. The neighborly rabbi offers advice on her problem, that he later relates to Jerry and anyone else who'll listen. Kramer and Jerry try to see " Plan 9 From Outer Space"; however, Kramer "tries" to sneak in a gourmet coffee, spills it and his lawyer says he has a case.
3. The Maestro
George is feeling the pressures of his relationship with Susan and decides that he needs to help a security guard that works at her uncle's store. Kramer's friend "Maestro", makes a comment about getting a rental property in Tuscany that makes Jerry decide to do some research. Elaine begins dating the "Maestro." Kramer's out of court settlement in his lawsuit against the coffee house, free coffee at any location around the world, gets him "hopped up on the caffeine." Jerry asks Poppy about Tuscany and is referred to Poppy's cousin, who makes him an offer he can't refuse.
4. The Wink
Elaine gets a blind date with the guy from her wake-up service; the only problem is he likes dogs. A bit of grapefruit pulp, from Jerry's healthy breakfast, gets into George's eye and causes problems for him when his winks keep getting misinterpreted. Jerry's healthy diet conflicts with his dating of Elaine's cousin. Kramer promises a sick boy, that New York Yankee, Paul O'Neill will hit two home runs for him, so he can get back a birthday card that he sold based on George's wink.
5. The Hot Tub
George picks up a bad habit from some visiting baseball officials. During the time of the New York City Marathon, Elaine has an out of country runner as her house guest. The runner had overslept and missed the big race at the last Olympics and Jerry obsesses with ensuring that it doesn't happen again. Kramer gets a hot tub from his friend Lomez and Elaine has writer's block.
6. The Soup Nazi
The gang all loves the soup from a new, temperamental cook unofficially called the "Soup Nazi". Jerry and his girlfriend are beyond affectionate, and their nickname "Schmoopie" drives George crazy. Elaine buys an antique armoire on the street, but it is stolen while being guarded by Kramer.
7. The Secret Code
George tries to keep his ATM code a secret from Susan. Elaine is puzzled by a man she once met at a party and talked to for ten minutes, doesn't remember her, but he does remember other party details. Leapin' Larry, a one-legged man, wants Jerry to do spots for his store, but he is angered when he thinks Jerry is doing an impression of him. Kramer gets an emergency band scanner and decides to help reorganize operations at the NYFD. Elaine doesn't want to go on a date with her boss, the storyteller, so she leaves Jerry and George at the restaurant. Jerry escapes, but George isn't as lucky. He is forced to accompany Peterman to his Momma's house, where he winds up staying all night and tells her his secret code before she dies. That is her last word. George's code is needed in a life or death situation.
8. The Pool Guy
Elaine has tickets for a historical clothing exhibit and realizes that she has no female friends; Jerry suggests that she ask Susan. Kramer suggests that is the wrong move and that George's worlds will collide. Jerry meets his pool guy outside a movie, and then he can't get rid of him. George is worried by Elaine wanting to get to know Susan, then he finds out it was Jerry's idea. Kramer's new phone number is similar to a film information line. When Kramer keeps getting wrong numbers, he begins giving out the information for movie show times a la "Moviefone."
9. The Sponge
Jerry finds the number of girl he wants to contact on Kramer's AIDS walk sponsor list. After finding out that her preferred method of birth control is only available in a limited supply, Elaine must decide whether her current boyfriend is "sponge worthy." George tells Susan the secret of the size of Jerry's jeans and that leads to a fight about all secrets, he tells her another of Jerry's secrets when they make up. Jerry finds out that George told Susan one of his secrets and now he's "out of the loop." Elaine adjusts her screening process to find worthy candidates. Kramer causes a disturbance at the AIDS walk when he won't "wear the ribbon."
10. The Gum
Kramer is active in the re-opening of an old movie theater. He also is keeping an eye on a friend, Lloyd, who's recovering from a nervous breakdown. Lloyd has a pack of Chinese gum that Kramer insists everyone tries. George thinks the cashier short-changed him and meets a former neighbor (who's had a breakdown) and his daughter, Deena. George lets his former neighbor look at his car. Elaine tries to avoid interacting with Lloyd, loses a button from her blouse and reveals herself to Lloyd and Kramer. Because of Elaine's lie, Jerry must wear glasses while around Lloyd. Deena tells George that she thinks he is showing signs of being on the verge of a breakdown. George's car, once owned by "Jon Voight" in "The Mom & Pop Store", catches fire. Elaine shows more to Lloyd. Jerry gets more gum. George keeps trying to convince Deena he's not crazy.
11. The Rye
Elaine is dating a jazz saxophonist who's sponge-worthy but "he doesn't really like to do everything." Jerry tells one of the members of his band that the saxophonist and Elaine are "hot and heavy." Kramer stocks up on supplies, including 50 cans of "Beef-A-Reeno.". Susan's parents meet and have dinner with the Costanzas for the first time. Both families obsess over a loaf of rye bread that wasn't served with the meal, which Frank takes back home. Elaine's boyfriend writes a song about "their relationship," which later has a big impact on his career. Kramer takes over a friend's horse-drawn carriage for a week and helps George out with his scheme to replace the rye bread. Unfortunately, he feeds the horse a can of "Beef-A-Reeno" right before giving the Ross's their ride. Jerry manages to get his hands on a loaf of marble rye.
12. The Caddy
Kramer befriends a caddy, who helps him to improve his golf game and offer his other advice. George's bosses consider him for a promotion when they think he is so dedicated to his work that he is there in the morning before everyone else and still there after they all leave. They don't know that he's just been leaving his car in the parking lot waiting for his free visit from a locksmith. Taking advantage of the situation, he and Susan go up north to her parent's rebuilt cabin. Elaine meets an old rival who's heir to the Oh Henry! candy bar fortune and has never worn a bra. She wears the bra as a top and cause Kramer and Jerry to have an accident with George's car. With George's damaged car in the parking lot, the Yankees think he's dead. Steinbrenner breaks the news to the Costanza's. Kramer and Elaine take her rival to court and only Jerry may stand in the way.
13. The Seven
Elaine sees a girl's bike she wants, but she strains her neck trying to getting the bike down from the wall. In pain she promises the bike to whoever fixes her neck. Kramer saves the day and wants the bike. George is angry when Susan's cousin chooses to name her baby with the name he planned to give his first offspring. He desperately tries to convince them to use another name. Kramer works out an arrangement with Jerry to keep track of what he takes from Jerry's kitchen. Jerry is curious when his girlfriend is always wearing the same dress, every time they go out.
14. The Cadillac pt. 1
Jerry surprises his parents by buying them a new Cadillac, when his last job really pays well. Kramer who now knows about what Jerry makes says it will change their relationship. It certainly changes his relationship with Elaine, she's interested again. George reconsiders his engagement when one of Elaine's friends tells him that she could have set him up with Oscar-winning actress, Marisa Tomei. The cable company wants to see Kramer and he takes the opportunity to get revenge on them. George wants to meet Marisa for a cup of coffee, even when Elaine's friend is in the hospital with a heart condition. Jack Klompus accuses Morty of embezzling funds to pay for his new Cadillac.
15. The Cadillac pt. 2
Kramer continues to play with the cable guy. George's obsession with Marisa makes Susan suspicious. Elaine calls Jerry in Florida and tells him she wants to come and join him. Elaine gets George Marisa's phone number and now he needs her for an alibi (which involves her "boyfriend" Art Vandelay, an importer/ exporter). Morty's ace in the hole, to keep him from impeachment, is the woman that Jerry stole the marble rye from, only she doesn't remember him, at least at first. The cable guy zeros in on Kramer, but he gets away. George's meeting with Marisa doesn't go as well as planned and Susan thinks he's having an affair with Elaine. The cable guy concedes defeat.
16. The Shower Head
Elaine gets a physical for a pending trip with Peterman to Africa. Her physical test results show positive for opium, so Peterman fires her. Jerry parent's are in seclusion in New York while biding time until they can move back to Florida. George tries to convince his parents to move to Florida. The shower heads in Jerry's building are being replaced with a new low-flow model; Newman finds a source for black market shower heads. The Seinfelds tell the Costanzas that there is no room for them in Florida that gives Frank all the incentive he needs to move. George is delighted. Elaine finds the cause of her opium addiction and finds a donor for her next physical. Jerry makes a joke on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno at the expense of Uncle Leo and he pays the price for making fun of the family.
17. The Doll
George is spooked by a doll from Susan's collection that has an uncanny resemblance to his mother. Elaine is desperate to replace an autographed picture of the Maestro's that she ruined in Tuscany. Kramer joins Frank in his new billiard room and tries to help him track down a long lost cousin. Meanwhile, Jerry's interactions with Susan's old roommate spell trouble for his upcoming appearance on the Charles Grodin show.
18. The Friars Club
Jerry is being sponsored for membership to the Friars' Club, but things go awry when he accidentally walks off with their jacket. George is excited when Jerry starts dating Susan's best friend and they can double date together. Kramer tries to copy Leonardo Da Vinci's sleep patterns, but it doesn't work out the way he'd hoped. Meanwhile, Elaine is suspicious that a coworker is faking being deaf.
19. The Wig Master
Jerry uses Elaine to prove that a sales clerk is wrong about his looking at an expensive jacket. Elaine is picked up by the clerk. George has an unwanted house guest, a wig master for the touring company of "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat." He also has found a parking lot that charges $75 dollars a month; Kramer decides to put his car there. Unfortunately, he leaves his apartment key there. When he can't get his key, he is allowed to borrow a pink Cadillac. Jerry is convinced the clerk is working Elaine. George discovers why the lot is so cheap and that he may have an out with Susan
20. The Calzone
George becomes Steinbrenner's pet, when he shares an eggplant calzone with him. Kramer is raving about wearing clothes "straight out of the dryer." Jerry thinks that Elaine's boyfriend is dating her without really ever asking her out. He offers to bring Jerry some Cuban cigars from Canada. Jerry takes advantage of his girlfriend's ability to get anything she wants. Kramer searches for quarters for the dryer; when he can't find anymore, he starts using an oven. George gets into tip trouble with the counter guy at the calzone shop and he works out an arrangement with Newman. That is unless of course it's raining (Newman doesn't deliver mail in the rain); Kramer helps out.
21. The Bottle Deposit pt. 1
George doesn't hear the details on an important project that Wilhelm wants him to champion. Peterman wants Elaine to bid on a set of golf clubs at the Kennedy auction, her ceiling is $10,000; however, she gets into a bidding war with Sue Ellen, the Oh Henry! candy heiress. Consequently, she spends a bit more than she was authorized. Newman finds the missing ingredient to make it cost effective in Kramer's scheme to collect used pop bottles and cans and take them to Michigan where the refund is doubled. Jerry takes his car to a mechanic, who's fanatical about car care. Elaine meets Jerry to get the golf clubs out of his car, but the mechanic, distraught over Jerry's negligence, steals it. Kramer and Newman collect their bottles and cans and hit the road in a mail truck.
22. The Bottle Deposit pt. 2
Wilhelm is delighted with the job George did on the project; however, he has no idea what he did or how he did it. The detective on the case thinks he's found Jerry's car, damaged beyond recognition. It's not, and later Jerry's mechanic calls him from the car. Kramer spots Jerry's car in Ohio. Steinbrenner calls George into his office about the project report and has him committed. Kramer ditches the cans, bottles, mailbags and Newman in pursuit of Jerry's car. Newman finds a farmer's house, complete with the proverbial daughter. The mechanic throws the clubs and bag at Kramer's truck, allowing him to get away. Deena is happy to see that George is getting the help he needs. Peterman is stunned when he finally gets the clubs.
23. The Wait Out
After George makes an off-hand remark to a married couple with a rocky relationship, Jerry and Elaine wait in anticipation of their inevitable separation. Elaine sports a new hairstyle, starts driving again and almost makes Jerry car sick. Kramer starts wearing jeans again. The jeans are much too tight, so tight in fact, that he can't get them off when he really needs to. Elaine and Jerry make plans to move in on the separated couple, which they do. George feels guilty about breaking up the marriage and wishes to undo the damage. Jerry and Elaine physically oppose this action. David returns the off-hand remark to George in the presence of Susan. She tells George she has to think about some things- he thinks it is his ticket out.
24. The Invitations
As George and Susan pick out their wedding invitations, George is desperate to find a way out of getting married. Kramer is obsessed with a bank's promise to pay $100 to any customer not greeted with 'hello'. Meanwhile, Jerry thinks he's fallen in love with a woman with the exact same personality as him.
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Author: sddvasquez Time: 4-10-2008 17:43
Season Eight
1. The Foundation
After a summer of grieving, George is ready to move on with his life, but a comment Jerry makes to the Rosses inspires them to start a foundation in Susan's memory. Jerry, who has broken off his engagement to Jeanie, does research into what sort of break-up story makes a man most appealing to women. Elaine becomes president of J Peterman when a burnt out Peterman flees to Burma. Meanwhile, the new-found perspective and confidence Kramer has gotten from Karate inspires Elaine - until it's revealed that he's been fighting against children.
2. The Soul Mate
George thinks the foundation lawyer thinks he might have killed Susan, Jerry suggests using a method employed by Jerry Lewis to find out. Kramer falls for Jerry's girlfriend and he consults Newman for advice. Elaine's friends insist that she have a baby. George leaves a running tape recorder in his brief case at the next board meeting and leaves the room. Newman gets in the middle of Jerry and Kramer's relationship with Pam; he bribes Jerry in hopes to find out more about his obsession, Elaine. George gets to the bottom of what happened to his briefcase.
3. The Bizarro Jerry
Kramer uses a bathroom in an office building and just begins working there. He is "TCB." Elaine sets Jerry up with a friend who is very beautiful, but she has "man hands." George uses a picture of her and passes her off as his dead finance Susan; that gets him into the "Forbidden City" where high priced models hang out. Elaine meets Kevin and some of his friends; they are the exact opposite of Jerry, George and Kramer. With Kramer working, George inside the walls and Elaine hanging out with Kevin, Jerry begins to feel alone.
4. The Little Kicks
Elaine reluctantly lets George attend a party she is throwing at work. Jerry gets 2 tickets to a premiere of a film. Kramer asks him to get an extra ticket for his friend Brody. Elaine thinks the loss of her co-workers' respect might be due to George's influence, so she makes him off limits to Anna, one of the women George talked to at the party. That "bad boy" image makes him all the more desirable. Jerry and Kramer attend the film with Brody, who begins to make a bootleg tape. Elaine finds out the truth about her dancing after she tapes herself. Her dance becomes a big hit on the streets of New York.
5. The Package
Elaine has a rash and looks for a doctor who will treat her. Kramer offers Jerry a method to get a refund on his stereo that is two years out of warranty. George discovers the woman at the photo store is looking at his pictures. Jerry refuses delivery of a package with no return address. Newman grills Jerry on suspicion of mail fraud. George drops off his film at the photo store and gets a surprising result.
6. The Fatigues
Kramer volunteers to cook dinner for a Jewish singles function, and tries to recruit Frank Costanza to help him. George has to speak to the Yankees front office on the topic of Risk Management, but has trouble learning the material. Jerry's is intrigued that his girlfriend has a mentor - that is, until he finds out that the mentor is dating Bania. Elaine is forced to deal with a fatigue-wearing, deranged employee.
7. The Checks
Jerry receives countless 12-cent royalty checks for a clip of him used in a Japanese TV show. Kramer befriends a group of Japanese tourists, which leads George to try to revive the pilot of "Jerry" to air in Japan. Meanwhile, Elaine deals with a boyfriend who's obsessed with a furniture designer and the song "Desperado."
8. The Chicken Roaster
George reveals a strategy to guarantee a second date with women - leaving an object behind at their place. However, this strategy gets Elaine into trouble, when George leaves behind a sable hat she shouldn't have charged to the Peterman expense account. Meanwhile, the red neon sign of a new Kenny Rogers Roasters restaurant beams directly into Kramer's apartment. Jerry and Kramer then switch apartments, and end up switching personalities as well.
9. The Abstinence
George's girlfriend has mononucleosis and he can't have sex with her for six weeks. Elaine's met a doctor who's almost gotten his license to practice. Jerry agrees to appear at career day at his former junior high school, first he is bumped and then there is a fire drill. Kramer lights up a cigar in Monk's and is asked to leave. George's lack of sex makes his mind sharper. Elaine learns how much her doctor boyfriend doesn't know about medicine. Jerry struggles to figure out how to fill two hours in front of a junior high crowd. George uses his new found intellect to give batting advice, speaks Portuguese and prepares a presentation for Jerry's assembly.
10. The Andrea Doria
George is excited about the new apartment he is going to move into. Elaine is on a blind date, now called a "set-up." Jerry takes Kramer to his self-storage where they discover that Newman has been hiding bags of mail. George finds out he can't get his apartment because the tenant association is going to give it to an Andrea Doria survivor. Elaine is told her date won't be making it because he's been stabbed. Kramer's cold is getting bad and he refuses to go to the doctor. Elaine meets her blind date who gets coffee thrown in his face from another ex-girlfriend. George confronts his rival for the apartment and decides to wage war. Jerry forms "an alliance" with Newman that will hopefully get him out of his life forever. Jerry discovers that Kramer is taking dog medication and beginning to exhibit the signs of being a dog. After Kramer bites Newman's ankle, Jerry offers to deliver the rest of his mail. He is too efficient for the post office.
11. The Little Jerry
Jerry is humiliated when his clown-pattern bounced cheque is displayed publicly at a local store. Elaine's boyfriend, who shaves his head, is shocked when he learns he's going naturally bald. George enjoys the freedom of dating a convict. Meanwhile, Kramer's desire for fresh eggs leads him to buy his own chicken. However, it turns out to be a rooster with a knack for fighting.
12. The Money
Jerry's parents sell the Cadillac to Jack Klompus in order to give Jerry some money to help him out. They along with Kramer suggest that Jerry might try a career move. Elaine talks about her Peterman stock options and buys George's coffee. Jerry and George talk about the money their parents might have. Kramer seeks advice from Elaine about his girlfriend's post-sex bed habit "she's got the jimmy legs." George and Elaine try to discuss their respective problems. Still in Florida, strapped for cash and credit, Jerry sleeps in the Cadillac. The Seinfelds make a change in their housing as the Costanzas try to settle into their new place.
13. The Comeback
George has trouble thinking of a comeback to a comment; he does think of one, but it's a little to late. Jerry buys a new tennis racket from a supposed professional. Elaine and Kramer discuss video picks. George comes up with what he thinks is the perfect line and will listen to no one else's opinion. Kramer makes a living will, with Elaine as the executor. Meanwhile, in Akron, Ohio, George delivers his line.
14. The Van Buren Boys
Jerry's girlfriend, Ellen, seems perfect in every way, but everyone else seems to have a problem with her. George interviews candidates for the Foundation's first scholarship. Elaine is going to ghost write Peterman's biography. Kramer goes to Lorenzo's pizza, where he has an encounter with the Van Buren boys. Peterman wants his day to day life covered in his bio; the exotic adventures are for the catalog. His day-to-day life is very boring. She tells him about Kramer's encounter with the gang and he suggests buying the story for his biography. George and Kramer perform an intervention on Jerry's relationship with Ellen. George's scholar joins the Van Buren boys, who apply pressure on George to get the scholarship back. Elaine tells Kramer that he can no longer tell his stories, since they now belong to Peterman.
15. The Susie
Kramer decides that daylight saving time isn't coming fast enough, so he sets his watch ahead an hour. Mike, the guy who once referred to Jerry as "a phony," has become a bookie. Peggy, a co-worker of Elaine's calls her "Susie." George is excited about Steinbrenner's ball. Kramer tells Jerry that he owes Mike $100 for a bet he made on that night's Knicks game. Only Jerry never made the bet; Kramer did it for him. Peggy starts talking to "Susie" about Elaine's memo. Peterman hearing about the complaints demands to see Elaine, Peggy and "Susie" in his office; first thing in the morning. Mike can't pay Jerry, so he offers to help him with his trunk problem, but instead gets his thumbs broken for the trouble.
16. The Pothole
Elaine wants to have some Chinese food delivered, but lives just outside the delivery zone. In order to fool the delivery man, she pretends that the janitor closet in the building across the street is her apartment. The trouble is the landlady mistakes her for the janitor. Kramer joins the "adopt a highway" program, but his methods are a little unorthodox. Jerry's new girlfriend uses a toothbrush that had fallen into the toilet, which causes him more trouble than he could have imagined. George loses his keys, and by the time he finds them, they're buried at the bottom of recently filled pothole.
17. The English Patient
A woman mistakes George for her boyfriend Neil, a guy who looks just like him. This intrigues George; he wants to meet Neil. Jerry is going to Florida to help his parents move. Kramer asks him to pick up some Cubans from his cigar guy and also gives him a T-shirt. Elaine and her boyfriend see "The English Patient" and she absolutely hates it. Kramer's Cubans arrive; they're people not cigars. George is overly obsessed with Neil, to the point where he is missing out on Danielle. Elaine's dislike for the film alienates her from everyone. Jerry finds work for Kramer's "Cubans." Elaine still hates the movie, but must go to the Tunisian desert to live in a cave to save her job. Kramer thinks his unemployed Dominicans, whom he educated about communism, are planning to revolt.
18. The Nap
George is tired and needs to take a nap while at work. Kramer has taken up swimming, but he finds the pool too constricting for his needs. Elaine's date is worried about his back and hers. Jerry is getting new kitchen cabinets, but the contractor is constantly asking him questions. George gets Jerry's contractor to make some modifications for his desk, including space for an alarm clock. Steinbrenner is in George's office looking for him; he decides to wait for George to return. Meanwhile, Jerry's contractor, left on his own, has made a change in Jerry's kitchen that no one likes. Steinbrenner hears a ticking sound in George's office, thinks it's a bomb and calls in the bomb squad. Jerry decides he needs his old kitchen back.
19. The Yada Yada
After Tim Whatley converts to Judaism, Jerry gets a sneaking suspicion that his motivation was the ability to tell Jewish jokes. Kramer and Mickey ask out two girls, but can't decide who will date which. Elaine tries to help some friends adopt a baby, but soon sees that she's in for more than she'd bargained for. Meanwhile, George isn't sure what to make of his latest girlfriend's frequent use of the phrase, "Yada yada yada…"
20. The Millennium
Elaine gets bad service at a clothing store, so she begins shopping at another similar store. Jerry notices that he is on his girlfriend's speed dial. Kramer plans for his millennium New Year's Eve party two years in advance. George is "offered" a position as director of scouting by the Mets. To get the position he must be fired by the Yankees. Elaine flaunts her purchases in front of the store. Jerry obsesses about his position on the speed dial and then he makes it to number 1. Kramer discovers that Newman is planning his own millennium party.
21. The Muffin Tops
Upon learning that his stories were used in the Peterman autobiography, Kramer declares himself the "Real Peterman" and begins his own reality bus tour. When George is asked to watch a suitcase for a tourist that never claims it, George begins wearing his clothes, and starts up a relationship with a tourism director. Mr Lippman steals Elaine's idea for a business selling muffin tops, and brings her into the business for her muffin expertise. A shaving mishap leads Jerry to shave his chest.
22. The Summer of George
Receiving three months pay as a severance package from the Yankees, George decides to make the most of his summer. Jerry asks out a waitress, but when she accepts, he's surprised to learn that she already has a live-in boyfriend. Elaine has trouble dealing with a female co-worker, but the situation is perceived by others as a "catfight". Kramer gets a job filling seats at the Tony Awards, and ends up receiving an award himself.
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Author: sddvasquez Time: 4-10-2008 17:51
Season Nine
1. The Butter Shave
Kramer discovers that butter is far superior to any shaving cream, but things go too far when he starts putting it on his body. George takes advantage when his new employer thinks he's handicapped. Jerry is annoyed when Kenny Bania is experiencing success by always following him. Meanwhile, Elaine has a nightmare of a return trip from a European vacation with David Puddy.
2. The Voice
The gang start using a fun, booming, jovial voice, but when Jerry's girlfriend learns that the voice is supposed to represent her stomach, she makes Jerry choose between her and the voice. Elaine bumps into David Puddy, which leads them to get back together. However, despite her best efforts to stay apart from him, every time they break up, they end up sleeping together. Kramer decides that he wastes too much time, and therefore gets an intern from NYU. Meanwhile, now that George's boss knows he isn't handicapped, the two engage in a battle of wits over whether George keeps working at Play Now.
3. The Serenity Now
George gets roped into selling computers with his father, who is using a strange relaxation method to control his blood pressure. Kramer has some trouble with the "neighborhood children" when he remodels the front of his apartment. Jerry's latest girlfriend helps him get in touch with his emotions. Meanwhile, Elaine's invitation to a bar mitzvah ends up being more than she bargained for.
4. The Blood
Jerry has an encounter with an Exacto knife and ends up having an infusion of 3 pints of Kramer's blood infused into him because Kramer decided to store his blood. Jerry's parents buy him sessions with personal trainer, Izzy, who's going to help him work off his spare tire because they are concerned with his lack of exercise. George decides that adding television and food to his equation will make sex even better. Elaine visits her friend Vivian and is disappointed when Vivian implies that she isn't responsible enough to watch her son Jimmy, so she works overtime to prove how responsible she is.
5. The Junk Mail
Jerry's childhood friend arranges for a van as payment for one of Jerry's performances. Kramer uses the van in his campaign against mail. Elaine meets a man at the coffee shop whose charm seems too good to be true. Meanwhile, George discovers that his parents have had enough of him.
6. The Merv Griffin Show
After Kramer finds the set of the old Merv Griffin Show in a dumpster, he begins to treat his entire life like a talk show. Jerry's new girlfriend has a priceless toy collection that she won't let him play with, with leads him to some questionable behavior. George runs over a squirrel with his car, and he's forced to spend time and money on its recovery. Elaine has to find a way to deal with a new co-worker, whose 'sidling' is both annoying and potentially dangerous to her job.
7. The Slicer
Unsatisfied by the quality of commercially cut meats, Kramer buys his own meat slicer, and takes things a bit too far. Elaine can't catch a break, as her neighbor’s alarm clock and cat drive her crazy. Jerry gets annoyed when the dermatologist Elaine set him up with won't stop talking about 'saving lives'. Meanwhile, George's new job is in jeopardy when a photo reminds him of a nasty confrontation he'd had with his new boss years earlier.
8. The Betrayal
In this unique, "backwards" episode, Jerry, George, and Elaine go to India for Sue Ellen Mishky's wedding. Meanwhile, Kramer stays behind in New York and tries to "out wish" a friend who wants him to drop dead.
9. The Apology
George is obsessed with getting an apology from an acquaintance now working on step nine of Alcoholics Anonymous. Jerry is surprised when his girlfriend spends all her time naked. Elaine is annoyed when a female coworker is turned off by her germs. Kramer has a unique solution when he discovers he's spending too much time in the shower.
10. The Strike
An increase in the minimum wage is enough to finally meet the demands of the striking employees of H&H Bagels, and as such, Kramer announces that after 12 years, he's going back to work. Jerry meets an attractive woman at a party, but when he later tries to date her, she doesn't look nearly as good. Elaine's use of a fake phone number backfires when she loses a card that will entitle her to a free sandwich. George tries to get away with giving away fake donation cards as Christmas gifts at work, and much to his chagrin, his father decides to revive Festivus, a unique holiday he'd invented years earlier.
11. The Dealership
Elaine's relationship problems with David Puddy could influence Jerry's ability to get an insider deal on a new car. While waiting for Jerry, George has a series of misadventures trying to get a snack. Meanwhile, Kramer takes a test drive, and attempts to see just how far the car can run with the gas gauge on empty.
12. The Reverse Peephole
Puddy is wearing what can only be described as a "man fur." Jerry and Elaine leave it to George to sniff them out a deal on a massage chair, for an apartment warming gift for their friend Joe Mayo. Elaine doesn't like Joe's parties, because he always gives his guests an assignment. Kramer and Newman are going to reverse the peepholes on their doors. The landlord wants to evict Newman, because he is an agitator. Jerry decides to go wallet-less. George is opposed to the idea; he keeps everything in his wallet. Jerry, George, Elaine and "man furred" Puddy go to the party and get their assignments.
13. The Cartoon
Elaine is obsessed with a cartoon in the New Yorker and is determined to prove that it doesn't make sense. George finds himself in "weird trouble" when he realizes that his latest girlfriend looks very similar to Jerry. Jerry's comments about how bad of an actress someone is causes him to be the subject of her entire one-woman show. Meanwhile, when Kramer says more than he should too many times, he decides never to speak again.
14. The Strongbox
Due to recent robberies in the building, Jerry refuses to let a stranger in the front door, but things get awkward when he learns that the man is his neighbour. Kramer buys a strongbox in order to safeguard his valuables, but Jerry can't help but keep finding the keys. Elaine starts dating a mysterious man who she suspects is either married or a superhero. Meanwhile, despite his numerous attempts, George's current girlfriend refuses to let him break up with her.
15. The Wizard
Jerry buys his dad a Wizard organizer for a birthday present. George receives a message from Susan's parents, the Rosses. Jerry and George debate about the race of Elaine's new boyfriend and that intrigues her. George returns the call from the Rosses; the Foundation is having an event this weekend, but George can't attend, he has to close on his house in the Hamptons. Kramer announces his retirement, a Hollywood big shot has optioned his coffee table book about coffee tables. Elaine finds evidence that leads her to believe her boyfriend is black. Susan's parents see George on the street in the city, during the time he is supposed to be in the Hamptons. George and the Rosses reach the Hamptons, where the truth wins out.
16. The Burning
George devises a new plan to end every conversation on a "high note" and "leave them wanting more". Kramer and Mickey take jobs acting out diseases for medical students. Elaine discovers that Puddy is religious, and becomes angry when she learns he doesn't care about her soul. Meanwhile, Jerry is intrigued when he learns that his current girlfriend has a secret "tractor story" she hasn't told him.
17. The Bookstore
Jerry is disturbed when spots Uncle Leo shoplifting. George takes a book into a bookstore's bathroom, and is outraged when they force him to buy it. Kramer and Newman plan to bring rickshaws to New York. Meanwhile, Elaine embarrasses herself again at the annual Peterman party - this time by making out with a stranger.
18. The Frogger
George discovers that he still has the high score on the Frogger machine in a pizza place him and Jerry used to go to in high school. Jerry goes out with a friend of Elaine's, but when he wants to break up with her, news of a serial killer in the area makes him reconsider. Meanwhile, Elaine is overwhelmed by how frequently there is an occasion to eat cake at work. When she finally refuses to partake, she ends up eating something that she shouldn't - for a variety of reasons.
19. The Maid
Jerry hires a maid for his apartment, but ends up paying her for more than just cleaning. When Kramer's girlfriend moves downtown, he must deal with the difficulties of a "long distance" relationship. Elaine can't seem to catch a break when it comes to her phone number. Meanwhile, George is hoping to earn himself a catchy new nickname.
20. The Puerto Rican Day
On the way back from a lopsided Mets game, the gang gets caught in a neverending traffic jam complicated by the Puerto Rican Day Parade. The day ends with all four in very compromising situations.
21. The Clip Show (a.k.a. The Chronicle pt. 1)
Jerry, Elaine, George & Kramer plan to go to the movie, but Jerry takes out a little time to look at nine years of memories. Featuring relationships (getting in & out), etc.
22. The Clip Show (a.k.a. The Chronicle pt. 2)
More clips are seen and finally the closing minutes feature a series of bloopers and a musical montage that features the song "Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)" by the band Green Day, from their 1997 album Nimrod.
23. The Finale pt. 1
The new president of NBC calls a meeting with Jerry and George and offers them a series based on the pilot "Jerry". On their way to a celebratory trip to Paris, NBC jet needs to make an emergency landing in Latham, Massachusetts. While there, the gang stands idly by during a carjacking and is arrested on a new "Good Samaritan Law".
24. The Finale pt. 2
Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer stand trial, defended by Jackie Chiles. Character witnesses are called from the show's nine seasons, and the four are sentenced to a year in prison.
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